200049

Joke of the Day

"Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape? Because they had no bars on their cells!"

"DIET TIP: You are what you eat. Do you really want to be celery? C'mon. Not even celery wants to be celery."

"The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl."

"I had the bottom bunk in my college dorm... I was always getting fucked over by my roommate. *I'll see myself out...*"

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you've got 5 more rounds in the chamber. You'll get that moon eventually. He'll pay for what he did."

"How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw it in, one to call the media and publicize and one to blame the Democrats on the electric bill."

"Did you hear about the new strain of bird flu? Chirpees... a canarial disease... un-tweetable."

"I like my women like I like my Little Caesar's pizza- Hot & Ready."

"When you first learn about the Banach-Tarski Paradox it sounds cool... ...but, when you break it down, you'll realize you've actually seen it twice."

"I Can't Believe I Don't Get More Recognition For Being Really Modest"