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Joke of the Day
"It's awful being in a wheelchair everyone is always pushing me around and talking behind my back"
Next Joke
"How do you confused people in the 90s? Tell them ""In 2016, we will be able to refer to someone as ""Sir and/or Ma'am"" And still be assuming someone's gender."""
"Today I forgot to comb my hair, but people thought I was nice. Then, nothing of consequence happened. So today was every Michael Cera movie."
"A photon checks into a hotel... ...and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, ""No I'm traveling light."""
"Last night, a man assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese. Not much to say really, I got whipped and he got charged with assault and buttery."
"What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook."
"Give a pilgrim some corn... He eats for a day, teach a pilgrim to grow corn... He kills your people and takes your land."
"A pinata at my funeral so people will be happy.. but filled with bees so they're not too happy."
"There's 3 ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone or forbid your kids to do it."
"How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener.."