199950

Joke of the Day

"It's awful being in a wheelchair everyone is always pushing me around and talking behind my back"

"What do songwriters do after they die? They decompose"

"I always say ""I was wondering when you'd find me"" when I get in my car. That way if someone's ever in the backseat I'll look cool as shit."

"Did you hear they're going to print the Daily Mail on A1 sheets? It's pretty big news."

"Last night, my girlfriend made me really happy and really sad at the same time. She told me, ""You have the biggest dick out of all of your friends."""

"how many feet does the centipede use while running only 98, the other 2 are swinging"

"It's like Batman didn't even care about crime in the cities surrounding Gotham."

"My family doesn't get together a lot during the holidays. We see each other enough throughout the year at all the interventions."

"My friend gets offended when people tell fat jokes. I told her to lighten up."

"Hebrew Jokes How do you get a Jewish number........ you role up her sleeve"