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Joke of the Day

"After failing miserably at a standup routine I told my girlfriend I was going to try physical comedy. She said... ""You can't pull your pants down in public."""

Next Joke
 
"Who is the supreme religious leader of the corns? Pope corn!"
"What does Mozart put on his front lawn? Metrognomes"
"Who brew in the jewish house down the street? Hebrew."
"What do you call a girl from Alabama who's faster than her brothers? A virgin"
"""What aisle has the milk?"" ""Sir, this is a library."" *whispers* ""What aisle has the milk?"""
"I'm not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn't looking, I can turn water into Sprite."
"Me: You know, one nice thing about being snowed in all weekend is we haven't had to spend any money. Wife: (clicking add to cart) So nice."
"My shorts are hydrophobic They don't repel water, they just think it shouldn't be able to adopt or get married."
"""I'm leaving you"" ""why?"" ""Your jokes are old and tiresome"" ""but, I can updog"" ""What's updog?"" ""NOTHIN, WHAT'S UP WI-"" *slams door*"