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Joke of the Day

"After failing miserably at a standup routine I told my girlfriend I was going to try physical comedy. She said... ""You can't pull your pants down in public."""

Next Joke
 
"Double standards are not fair! When miley cirus gets naked and licks hammers its beautiful and artistic, but when I do it its weird, creepy and I get a life time ban from Ikea."
"What do diapers and Politicians have in common? They both need changing regularly - for exactly the same reason."
"Why is vagina better than cake? Because you can have your vagina and eat it, too!"
"Why did Bach have to sell his organ? A: Because he was baroque."
"Chances of me doing anything at work today are about hahahahahahahahahahaha%."
"How many Cowboys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they have Giants for that kinda shit."
"Accordion to studies... Most people don't replace the first word of a sentence with an instrument"
"why do they call them light bulbs? they don't weigh very much"
"Twitter, because my work isn't just going to ignore itself."