199440
Joke of the Day
"""Hey! Aren't you that guy from the village people?"" Me, to every cop who pulls me over"
Next Joke
"Today, I had two religious people for dinner. That makes me an ""ate-theist""."
"What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies"
"r/jokes should have an allergy warning Cauition: may contain reposts"
"The headline ""WORLD'S OLDEST PERSON DIES"" could also be ""WORLD HAS NEW OLDEST PERSON""."
"*loses 100 pounds in the US* yes *loses 100 pounds in England* no"
"[trying to do standup] u kno whats funy [someone yells 'society!'] nno [entire audience starts laughig] wait [audience laughs louder] stop"
"My boss called in sick of me"
"Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people!"
"I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck..."