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Joke of the Day

"Pizza Rolls are just Hot Pockets for midgets"

"Doctor told me I'm getting overweight Crap I thought eating disorder was bad enough!"

"if you're in a bathroom & person in next stall sneezes, do you say bless you or just applaud like normal? need answer fast too late clapping"

"You did yoga. You didn't negotiate a peace treaty. Stop walking around like that."

"Did you hear about the two horses? They were in a stable relationship... ...but one of them had an extra mareital affair."

"ME [8:49PM]: on my way, taking a crab GF [8:50PM]: u mean a cab ME [8:52PM]: not exactly. be there in several days"

"I was told that at birth I had a choice between perfect memory or a big penis. ""I fucking remember"" i replied"

"When BP says, ""We have the spill under control"" is the new ""I promise not to come inside you."""

"I can't turn my head very far in either direction It's a pain in the neck! My mom made that up."

"Why is Tina Fey so good with her use of irony? It's in the name..."