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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my whiskey 12 years old and mixed up with coke."

"Steven Gerard has finished his book about his football career, the problem is that he hasn't got a Title..."

"How many Chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but they'll take 30 visits to do it."

"*phone rings* Yoda: Yoda Luke: WTF VADER'S MY DAD? Y: Uh L: And you knew & told me to kill him? Y: L: Y: Going thru a tunnel I am *hangs up*"

"I spilled laundry detergent on my rug! It really tide the room together."

"Ted Cruz should have been forced to carry his Campaign to term... Terminating it is unchristian afterall"

"What's the main difference between a man and a woman? It's what comes to mind when they think of the word facial."

"Trump is actually ambidextrous He can move from right to left as he chooses"

"My companies biggest customer is the state of Missouri. I guess it's safe to say Missouri loves my company."

"Why was the pianist so depressed? Because they weren't good at Chopin."