198723

Joke of the Day

"I bumped in to the back of a car on the way to work A dwarf got out, absolutely fuming and exclaimed 'I'm not happy!' To which I replied, 'Which one are you then?'"

"Oregon have legalised marijuana and are creating a new strand It's called Oregon-o... ^^^I'm^^^Sorry."

"Someone stole all the toilets from Scotland Yard Police have nothing to go on."

"Why did the virus get a ticket? Because he was driving under the influenza......"

"what is the hardest part about having a daughter in your early 20's? Fighting all of those physically fit teenagers when you're in your late 30's."

"I have a date this weekend with a girl who has a shoe fetish... But I'm a little worried about getting off on the wrong foot."

"I'll never hire a monkey plumber off Reddit again! I told him my pipes were clogged up, he recommended a banana for scale."

"This is gonna be a really long one. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeee"

"My math teacher kept giving easy parabolas and circles until the test day when he gave a large, difficult hyperbola. The long con."

"The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years, and you sit there and act like everything is fine."