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Joke of the Day
"I pay all my bills in loose coins... I've been told to change my ways."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? With a porcupine, the prick is on the outside."
"Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? 'Cause the grass tickles their balls when they run"
"People should look like their personalities."
"if you're havin girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems and they're all bottles of beer on the wall"
"Out on a blind date. I told her, being funny is the 2nd best way to get a girl into bed. She said ""What's the best way?"" I said ""A big knife"" She laughed and said ""You're funny"" I said ""wise choice"""
"i went to a seafood disco once... And I pulled a mussel."
"Why are fire trucks always red? You'd turn red if someone pulled on your hose wouldn't you?"
"I was only mildly famous in the '90s but vaccinate your kids"
"Only a few of you have figured out that in every tweet I've ever written I've been subtweeting Pitbull."