198422

Joke of the Day

"A little girl went into her parents bedroom to find her parents in bed. ""Well!"" she exclaimed. ""And you tell me off just for sucking my thumb."""

"Her: *whispering seductively in my ear* Tell me what you want baby. Me: *whispering back* I was thinking maybe Thai food but up to you."

"The number 13579 walks into a bar... barman says ""sorry, can't serve you, you're too odd"""

"What did the geologist say to the Ginger after he evaluated her precious metal? Red, it gold."

"A Pixar movie about Marlin trying to put his son through fish college called Funding Nemo."

"If a dog tells you you're dreaming... believe him."

"The real reason Darth Vader cut off Luke's hand was because he touched the thermostat"

"I remember the difference between vertical and horizontal because vertical gives you vertigo and horizontal because whores get laid."

"Ever heard of the undertaker who accidentally dug another body? He made a grave mistake."

"A little boy wrote to Santa Claus... One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, ""Please send me a sister."" Santa Claus wrote him back, ""Ok, send me your mother."""