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Joke of the Day

"Magic words that make my children disappear: 3) Bath time 2) Who did this?! 1) When I was your age..."

"What do Spanish Canadians put on their tacos? Pork, eh?"

"The pizza guy just said ""see u tomorrow"" Maybe I eat too much pizza ..."

"Two chemists walk into a bar... Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, ""I'll have some H2O."" The second says, "" I'll have H2O too."" The second one dies."

"Repent! Seek jesus! Judgement approaches!"

"Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween, I'm guessing it's because they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors."

"Cake day: How many scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Response: I don't know, I'm no scientist."

"what do you get if you mix a dachsund with a cocker spaniel/ poodle mix? A cockadockapoo."

"A man walks into a bar and says... Ouch"

"Tomorrow I'll go to the orphanage... ... and beat up some children. I mean, what would they do? Tell their parents?"