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Joke of the Day

"How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black."

"I don't know what I'd do without Twitter. Probably my work."

"what does a sneeze see after it dies sneezus"

"""She queefed violently, immediately fogging the windows of my Volvo wagon. I knew then I belonged to her."" - from my new novel, NIGHT SOIL"

"Why the patriots deflated 11 balls out of 12? because they knew the ""12"" will be deflated during/after Superbowl."

"Me: Can't. I'm exhausted from all the CrossFit this morning. Him: It's pronounced 'croissant' & how the hell did you eat the entire dozen?!"

"You have to remember to be sensitive with jokes about the events in Paris. One mean joke and the reaction could be Explosive"

"If I had a nickel each time I had sex. I'd have a 12$/hr job!"

"What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming."

"I'm offended that horses don't put their hooves over their hearts during the National Anthem when they win a gold in equestrian events."