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Joke of the Day

"My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure. So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die."

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"I was asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer."
"Why did the feminist cross the road? To kick a sleeping homeless man in the head and steal his money"
"My dad told me never to explain fashion to Tommy, Hilfiger."
"What is a fat kids' favourite sounding instrument at school? The dinner bell."
"Did you hear about the guy who walked around with two pails of milk on his feet for a year? It was legendairy."
"If you love Batman, let him go, because Batman Returns."
"My cat just showed it's holiday spirit by pooping tinsel."
"[speed dating] her: I really want to have a child some day. What about you? me: define ""child"""
"It annoys me that Engineering students call themselves engineers.. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors, or art students calling themselves unemployed."