197440

Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."

"Doctor doctor I'm having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed. Oh I'm all right at night it's in the day I have problems."

"My doctor said my blood sodium level is apparently too high but I take everything with a grain of salt."

"Why couldn't Hitler fly a plane? Because he could Nazi very well."

"Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks."

"What do you call a mix between an elephant and a rhino? 'Ell if I know"

"Seriously when the crooked hamburger took it on the 1am where did it go? Heidelburg-er Germany!"

"I found out today that if I just let go of the steering wheel, my car will drive itself. The catch is: my car is a terrible driver."

"How to give your woman 12 inches and make her bleed. Bang her twice and punch her in the mouth."

"[Bruce Wayne enters Gotham Orphanage] I'll take your finest orphan. ""Sir, we can't just give-"" Here's $50mil. ""Do you like boy acrobats?"""