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Joke of the Day

"If you are talking to me and I appear as if I'm attentively listening, I'm probably just silently correcting your grammar in my head."

"Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again? That's funny Mom. I can't remember either."

"There are two kinds of people in the world These who can extrapolate from incomplete data..."

"What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild ? A 100$ bill"

"What do you call an emo on a hiking trip? Cliffhanger."

"My ex wives were all good housekeepers.. ..When they left, they kept the house."

"Nomenclature is important when courting a lady. For example, ""feminine scent"" and ""feminine odor"" are perceived differently. You're welcome."

"To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow."

"Yesterday 9 asked what's the meaning of life and 6 punched him, but that was yesterday when I was on acid. Numbers don't usually talk to me."

"How do you guarantee that your wishes always come true? Wish for something that is already true."