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Joke of the Day

"There are so many scary things in life: -fear -hate -murder -injustice -the woman in line behind me who just said ""boughten"""

"My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well actually he said ""less McDonald's"" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant"

"A family of crows flying into a windmill is a murder suicide"

"How is using the Pirate Bay like hiring a prostitute? Only nerds brag about doing it"

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don't call it Liam then what is even the point of you"

"Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is orange and 9ft tall and the other green and yellow and 2ft Gin tall. The police are searching high and low for them."

"This guy at my school has eight zits on his face. We call him octo pus."

"Best Deal Ever My wife said she'll divorce me if I get I phone 6S Rose gold. That's the deal.."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, it won't come."

"A gay deer eats what ? HEY HEY!!!!"