195586
Joke of the Day
"Just saw a spider. It was sleeping. I crawled into its mouth."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Chinese man with a lot of cats and dogs? A pet shop owner you racist scum!"
"Drug commercial just listed ""death"" as a possible side affect. Seems totally legit. Ask your doctor if possible death is right for you.."
"Tried to console my ex after losing her bf and all I could muster was, ""there's plenty more married men out there."""
"How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?? Dude,I already did my time."
"Just once I want to wake up to something exciting. *Wakes up next to spider crawling on pillow."
"I told this cashier she kinda looked like Lorde, and as I was walking out, heard the lady behind me assure her she did not look like Jesus."
"Dignity: Is that thing you lose when you send someone a second text before they've answered the first."
"My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating. I asked him why and he replied, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""
"How convenient, I can cook this lasagna in the microwave in 30 seconds, or in my oven in 4 days."