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Joke of the Day
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas... hopefully with the exclusion of my money."
Next Joke
"Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid"
"I didn't have fun at the Boston Marathon this year ... back in 2013 it was a blast."
"Text your friends but leave voicemails for your enemies."
"My fourth grade teacher told the class to go outside and sit Indian style... so I drank a bottle of vodka and passed out in the street."
"The time traveler was still hungry after his meal... So he went back four seconds."
"They say that Insanity is hereditary... you get it from your kids."
"How do you call musicians who produce hit after hit? Hitlers"
"Ya know? You're like a blister... you only turn up once all the hard work is done."
"How many seasons are there in a dogs life ? Just one the moulting season !"