195068

Joke of the Day

"Really want to try out a career in tracing, or something along those lines."

"I hate it when I go to the supermarket and the employees there comment on my groceries. Always with the ""Hey, sir, you have to pay for those!"" Every damn time."

"Why are relationships complex? Because you're real, but your girlfriend is imaginary"

"She texted me, ""your adorable."" I replied, ""No, YOU'RE adorable."" Now she's stalking me and all I did was point out her typo."

"What do you get if you squeeze a synagogue? Jews."

"Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green? It was Saint Patrick's Day."

"There were two muffins in an oven... One muffin said to the other, ""Boy, it's sure hot in here!"" The other muffin screamed ""AHHHH!!! A talking muffin!!!!!!!"""

"I'd rather drop a baby than my iPhone.... I mean I can make another baby.... But I have no clue how to make an iPhone..."

"C'mon, dude. Man up and ask her if she likes me."

"Girl are you a ringtone? Because you're really annoying and just get louder when I ignore you."