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Joke of the Day

"Do you think bin men get training... ... Or do they just pick it up as they go along?"

"Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on."

"What did Hitler get the Jews for Christmas? Nothing. Jews don't celebrate Christmas."

"The reality is that a lot of girls out there just aren't prepared for a nice, decent guy."

"Imagine if the presidential race was an actual marathon Then we'd really have a Kenyan in office."

"A seal walks into a club And soon after an Inuit family has a nice meal."

"Ignoring your text is easy. It's having to park my car 8 blocks away so you think I'm not home when you drive by that's awkward."

"I once stood 2 Twix bars up. Allahu Snackbar! (It was originally ""Allahu Akbar"", but u/Disagreeing_Man made it funnier.)"

"[homocide scene] DETECTIVE:""my god, in my 25 years on the force i've never seen a dead ghost."" COP:""sir?, we covered the body with a sheet."""

"Every Time a Child Isn't Conceived During Sex... ... It's usually the result of a short cumming"