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Joke of the Day
"Like something you'd find on laffy taffy On a scale of 1-10 how high was Carl? 420"
Next Joke
"No honey, there isn't a neighbor working with a nail gun this early. That was just my knees creaking when I got out of bed."
"What would you get if you crossed Bill Gates with Louis Leakey ... a philanthropologist."
"I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together."
"Get all the protein you can before you die because there's no whey in Hell"
"*sees person I know in a crowd* *waves enthusiastically* * realizes I don't know person* * changes enthusiastic wave to awkward fist pump*"
"Teacher: Why are you picking your nose in class ? Pupil: My mother won't let me do it at home !"
"It's an ATM. Not an ATM machine. The M in ATM already covered that, stupid."
"statistics show that 9 out of 10 men prefer women with big boobs. the statistics also show that the 10th man prefers the other 9"
"Why is it so hard to order pizza from me? I'll update with the hilarious punchline later..."