193896

Joke of the Day

"Why was the homeless man's body cremated? Because he urned it"

"Shaved my legs for the 1st time in forever today. It was like taking a bulldozer to the rainforest. Birds flying out, villagers scattering."

"I was having sex with a woman when her husband got home early She told me to use the back door and to be quick. I probably should have just left, but it's not every day you get an offer like that."

"There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley One was assaulted."

"Pros and cons of guys Cons: they're dicks Pros: their dicks"

"With his campaign struggling, Ben Carson seeks to appeal more to a mainstream and humanize himself with a new campaign slogan... Once you go black, you never go back. Carson 2016"

"Why did the christian girl like to be choked during sex? So she could be closer to God."

"[Interview] ""Tell me your weaknesses"" Me: Well, I.. *wife busts in* He's a mouth breather, leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take out th"

"Whenever anyone asks me where I grew up I point to a random spot in the room and say ""Over there."""

"What do you call four drowning Mexicans? Cuatro cinco"