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Joke of the Day

"Whenever anyone asks me where I grew up I point to a random spot in the room and say ""Over there."""

"This morning I was in my car doing donuts in the parking lot at work Now I have glaze all over my balls."

"CONGRATULATIONS It has been 24 0 days since you last stepped in cat puke."

"What did the balding thief say in the wig store? Toupee or not toupee"

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because when she reaches 69, she gets a frog in her throat."

"Thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap. Dirty bastards."

"Given my love of animals and hatred of housework, I predict my cause of death will be choking on a fur ball."

"I have come up with a truly fantastic business idea for Malaysia Airlines. A new slogan! ""Leaving on a jet plane, don't know if I'll be back again."""

"So when you say R.I.P. To a dearly departed you are basically saying hey no zombie or walking dead stuff ??"

"Why was there a dyslexic stormtrooper? Sith happens."