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Joke of the Day
"Q: What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow? A: To study economics."
Next Joke
"Stopped drinking coffee 3 days ago, and feel less and less addicted to caffeine with every new cup of my own pee."
"What pants do ghosts wear? BOO jeans."
"The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend... ...I said to her, ""Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy."" She said, ""Why did you say that twice?"" I said, ""I didn't."""
"Since the world is doing reposts. ""Knock knock"" you: ""Who's there?"" me: ""hoo"" you: ""Who's hoo?"" me: ""What're you, an owl?"""
"Neighbor: I need to run to the store. Can you watch the baby? Me (thinks of Daredevil cued up on Netflix): I am a registered sex offender"
"If you send more than one Facebook invitation to the same thing, I will come & shit right in the middle of whatever it is."
"""Try it, it's so good!"" ""Come on, man. Just a taste."" ""I'm having some. Mmmm."" ""Trust me."" Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer."
"What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it."
"What is Will Smith's job ? He's a blacksmith"