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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad"

"What swims slightly faster than a shark? The Little Mermaid on her period."

"Just ordered a non-fat pumpkin spice latte & now I drive a Prius & am a Zumba instructor."

"Ever notice Santa brings way nicer shit to rich kids than poor kids? Hey kids ,maybe it's time to do a little Christmas critical thinking."

"Once I've repeated what I said for the third time, I have to tell my dark family secret: I come from a long line of mumblers."

"Why rivers are never viewed on dvd or video cassette? Because they are always streaming."

"Joke from Glasgow What is the best thing you can put in a pie? Your teeth!"

"I accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 4."

"You ever bark back at your dog and then wonder what you just said?"

"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter (centre)."