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Joke of the Day

"A person dies every 3 seconds. How can a person die that many times?"

"What did Jay-Z call his wife-to-be? Feyonce."

"If you love someone: 1. Set them free 2. Drunk dial them 3. Read too much into their FB posts 4. Make them feel sorry for you 5. Die alone"

"The Earth and the Moon get in an argument The Moon tried to be the bigger body and walk away, but the Earth grabbed it and said ""I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. """

"Did you hear about... ...the new WSPA building downtown? The offices are so small, you couldn't swing a cat in there!"

"Q: Why couldn't the woman buy a bakery shop? A: She couldn't raise enough dough."

"Waiter, waiter, what's wrong with this fish? Waiter: Long time, no sea Sir."

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis, father, ladder I mean."

"I'm surprised that more people don't become astronauts The amount of space cadets I come across is startling"

"My mother once told me to get rid of the assholes in my life She then complains that I never contact her."