191981
Joke of the Day
"*sits* This is nice. *stands* This is also pretty cool. *lays down* Oh okay this is my favorite."
Next Joke
"Well... cats clean themselves... and we *are* out of toilet paper..."
"My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I can't love her back. It's nice when problems resolve themselves."
"I taught my son how to spell beer so he'd stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge."
"Why does a chicken coop has two doors? If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan"
"What's the difference between Santa Claus & Michael Jackson? one comes when children dream & the other dreams of children coming*."
"ME: You're saying I'm not smart enough for this job? BOSS: Well, yes. ME: [points to computer] Just because I can't use the typewriter TV?"
"How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors? They just have a feel for that kind of thing."
"God doesn't play dice well, that's what he tells Mrs God."
"And then I was all: ""I'm really getting sick of your shit, bitch."" And then she was all: ""To speak with a representative please press 7."""