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Joke of the Day

"A German joke... ...is no laughing matter"

"How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone in his helmet? He uses a hans free device"

"Chinese man calls his boss ""Me no work, I sick"". The boss replies ""When I am sick, I fuck my wife. Try that."" ..Two hours later the Chinese man calls back ""Me better, you got very nice house"""

"There's a reason why we can't hit bitches. That would be animal abuse"

"If someone ever challenges you to a fight, pull your pants off and chase them crotch first. I'm currently undefeated with this method."

"Surgeon: I'm unable to perform this surgery. I've only got 10,000 spoons, when all I need is a knife."

"So I asked my friend, if you could be in the sun as long as possible and not get sun burnt but the majority of the world hates you, would you do it? And my friend said yeah. Okay you're black."

"If I get nervous for a date, I just imagine the guy in his underpants, sitting on my couch for the next 40 years, & suddenly I'm annoyed"

"A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar... He orders a drink."

"Every now and then I like to do a complete check of my financial situation. Yep, still nothing'."