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Joke of the Day

"I'm moving up in my job as a bike mechanic I've been promoted to spokesperson"

"One man's trash is another man's treasure... ...is not the best way to tell a kid that he's adopted."

"I use so many age defying crinkle creams that I don't have finger prints anymore."

"Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope? He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope."

"My doctor said I have about a month left. So I stabbed him. The judge gave me ten to fifteen years. Crisis averted."

"Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth."

"Why does homemade bread not make your throat itch? It's made from scratch ^*NB ^OP ^is ^heckle-proof*"

"Cute guy: Can I pet your dog? Me: (several blocks later) I have soft hair too. :("

"My daughter is making a documentary on the invention of the telephone, for a school project. I remember the time I did that, in middle school. Rings A Bell."

"What do you call a computer smoking weed ? High tech."