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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sexy cousin? 87.5% unrelated. (Shamelessly stolen from [Two Guys and Guy](http://www.twogag.com/archives/3023))"

"You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard."

"Approximately how many cows does it take to stock a grocery store with beef? Most of them won't even show up to work, but if you can get them there, two should be able to handle the job."

"[lunch break] Gf: I have 30min Me: you thinking what im thinking? Gf: oh yea *starts undressing Me: *googles closest laser tag location"

"It's like my wife didn't even TRY to clean the house while I went out to play poker... I mean, how am I supposed to live like this?"

"You're spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked? No they've always been blue!"

"What does batman take in his whiskey? Just ice."

"A man walks into a mental hospital wearing nothing but plastic wrap. The clerk says to him, ""You definitely belong here, I can clearly see your nuts!"""

"Whats the difference between a pussy and a freezer? The Freezer dosen't fart when you take the meat out."

"Hoe do you call a dog that likes to be on the internet. A Labragoogle."