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Joke of the Day

"Our love was magical.. it vanished like one of Houdini's disappearing acts"

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"Shopping when hungry means you end up buying food you will regret. Apply the same rule for not being too horny when going to the clubs/bars."
"Remember, when someone calls you mean... just tell them that you prefer the term average."
"Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener? Because he was good at pulling weed"
"She asked me for breakfast in bed... I said ""maybe you should swallow next time."""
"Elvis My wee pet mouse elvis has died ! He got caught in a trap !"
"I will let you borrow any movie from my Pixar collection, except one. I'm never gonna give you Up."
"What do you do when a woman serves you bad sushi? Sue she"
"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the little boy? Wanna take a shower? They're to die for."
"Why do Seagulls live by the Sea? If they didn't, they'd be Bagulls!"