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Joke of the Day

"Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs middle finger."

"So bored I just logged into my LinkedIn account."

"If Donald Trump named his scrotum would it be called Goldman Sachs?"

"ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday."

"Facebook is like a prison. You look around, write on walls, and are poked by people you don't know."

"Guess What My Friend Said Once They Discovered The Existence of Gravitational Waves? Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now?"

"What concert can you see for 45 cents? 50 cent, featuring Nickleback."

"Really sucks for those addicted to Apple products... ...now there is no *escape*"

"Did you hear how high the offshore banker's salary is? I heard he makes boatloads."

"Did you know Sasha Grey retired? It's fine though, at least she went out with a bang!"