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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes I enjoy my steak undercooked.. ...but that's rare."
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"What do you call a story about beastiality? Fifty Shades of Neigh"
"A falling battery killed a man today. It was charged with murder."
"Learner driver: What happens when everything's coming your way? Instructor: You're in the wrong lane."
"How do mesquite trees get taller? They stand on their mesqui-toes!"
"How can you tell if a person is a vegetarian? Don't worry. They'll tell you they're a vegetarian."
"Wanna hear something gross about USA? $18.124 trillion"
"Fire Marshal: So why did you shoot off the flare gun? Me: Well I was out of ranch and the waitress kept walking past my table."
"Men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide, even though women attempt it more. So men are better at it! \- George Carlin"
"ANIMALS IT'S OK TO KILL IN AFRICA 1. Mosquitoes 2. Terminally ill zebra who signed a DNR 3. The Nazi monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark"