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Joke of the Day

"How big are headphones going to get before we just start to wear helmets with subwoofers inside them?"

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up her ass"

"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to eat your sandwiches."

"How many women does it take to play tennis? You can't play tennis in the kitchen"

"Remember how they drove in 90's TV sitcoms...the horribly fake steering wheel turning - left right left right? That's how I actually drive."

"Why did Hannibal invade Rome? [OC] Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not."

"I have a boat that beats all other boats in races... ... It's a champion ship."

"I just fake-went-to-the-bathroom to avoid someone. He followed me in. I don't think the pee noises I'm making with my mouth are working."

"What do you call a gay piece of bread? A faguette"

"Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine? The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!"