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Joke of the Day

"Congrats on your new baby. I remember a night where you drank a fifth of Jim Beam and crapped yourself. Glad you're raising a child now."

"Why is Batman undefeatable? Because he was coached by Liam Neeson."

"The best jokes are the ones that cause the audience to groan. So I suppose the best of the best cause constipation."

"House is a good doctor. He's also got a good heart. He should let his friends see the real him. But he's scared."

"Does it count as necrophilia if she's just dead inside?"

"Studies find if a woman has a glass of wine a day increases the chances of a stroke. If you let her have more she might suck it too."

"What is better than getting a N64 on Christmas? Getting a N64 now"

"Dear neighbors, I am not killing my child. I'm washing her hair. Only she sees it the other way."

"What did one pancake say to the others as it was tossed off the griddle into the air? See you on the flip side."

"Where was Soloman's temple located? On the side of his head."