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Joke of the Day
"There's a fine line between myth and reality and booze blurs it nicely."
Next Joke
"People who carry their dogs around, You know they can walk, right? Theyre real good at it. It's like one of the top known things about dogs"
"[about to go in for emergency surgery] ME: *slips surgeon a $20* what if you were to give me wings like a giant bird?"
"Your mom... ...is so fat she always follows her gut."
"Dead babies and rocks What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock? You can't Fuck a rock"
"I hope I'm not the only one who hovers over someone when they use my favorite pen just so they know I'm serious about wanting it back."
"If you're not part of the solution... You're part of the precipitate."
"What's the hardest part of golf for asians? Driving"
"What do you call an impatient skin infection? *Rash*"
"My biggest regret of 2014? Probably when my husband watched ""The Notebook"" with me and then I yelled at him for not building me a house"