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Joke of the Day

"I get in this weird mood where I don't want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood Awake'"

"Why was the beaver mad because no one came to his damn party."

"So I walked into an apple phone store... And I farted, the people working there got mad at me and I said,""it's not my fault you don't have any windows"""

"*I look into abyss* *Abyss looks at me* *Abyss blinking message in Morse code* *I go off to learn Morse* *I return* ""Why do we park in a dri"

"Oral Misgivings Q: How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex? A: She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn."

"Ford claims that 90% of its cars are still on the road today That's pretty bad, apparently only 10% of them made it back home"

"What do Brazil and lesbians have in common? Neither like touching balls."

"The detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was. It was a brief case."

"A 95 year old man told me this joke. ""At my age, it's always something. The other day, my Dr. asked for a Urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear""."

"What is the difference between 69 and an ambush ? With 69 you see the cunt coming at you."