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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the one about the witch's broom? It's sweeping the valley.(That one usually floors me, but I'm going to brush it aside before I'm swept away with laughter.)"

"What do you call 6.02x10^23 avocados? Guaca-mole"

"If I had a dollar for every gender I would have 2 dollars"

"I didn't realize how many of the songs on my iPod are about sex and drugs until I hit ""shuffle"" in a car with a 12-year-old in it."

"My parole officer said ""You know who you hurt the most when you go joyriding?"" ""Joy's husband."""

"Did you hear about the zoo with only one dog? It was a shit zoo"

"Just met John & Jane Doe and their lovely children Play, Tornay, Potay and Alfred."

"Had I known you were coming I would have baked a cake. Instead you get to watch me decapitate an iguana. You should call ahead."

"Niece: I like math M: 5 X 1? N: 5 M: *takes out phone* right N:You're using your phone? M: I got a text N: I didnt hear a sound *runs away*"

"[NSFW] I like my coffee the way I like slaves... Free, you asshole."