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Joke of the Day

"Why is President Carter important to Hamburger Land in April? One the opening day of the baseball season he throws out the first meatball!"

"The worst thing about Hillary Clinton is she can't dicks out for Harambe even if she wanted to. Even Michelle can do that."

"You'd think your skeleton would get soggy, but doesn't. Good work, skeleton."

"So pi and the imaginary number are talking... and i says to pi, ""be rational."" Pi responds, ""u shut ur bitch-ass whore mouth or im gon shank u mofo"" and i says, ""Oh shit just got real."""

"I have boobs & a calculator. Math is irrelevant."

"Justin Bieber will be an old man someday and it will be hilarious."

"What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur? A Lickalotopuss!"

"You can never be too OCD You can only be *just right*."

"In Theory... In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they never are."

"I saw a sign that said check your speed. Lucky I did, it had almost fallen out of my pocket."