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Joke of the Day
"My love for you is like an hourglass I always finish on the bottom."
Next Joke
"Have I been shadow banned? Nevermind, turns out my comments just suck."
"What do you call a woman-hating masseuse? A massage-onist."
"No one is listening until you fart."
"A friend of mine wanted me to recommend a TV series that 'ends with a bang.' I told him he might like Cowboy Bebop."
"What do bees and celebrities have in common? They're both dying at an alarming rate."
"[2 dogs eating dinner] ""u know Sharon, that life insurance policy u found me is great"" [stops chewing] ""why does this taste like chocolate"""
"You remind me of my step-son... I'm only nice to you because I'm fucking your mother"
"[Sunday morning] *congregation of Catholics disagrees with priest and walks out of church* - mass unfollowing"
"Summer Safety Tip: Before swimming in the ocean, cover yourself in gluten to lower the chances of being eaten by health conscious sharks."