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Joke of the Day

"You can tell a lot about a person by what they swallow first when a cop pulls um over."

"[ouija board] hi grandma, i hope your in heaven and i love you ""..y..o..u..'r..e.."""

"Doctor and Patient Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor: Next please!"

"What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"Sunday. Fun day. One day. Done day. Monday. Fuck."

"What did a constipated Watson tell Sherlock? No shit, Sherlock."

"A man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide......... Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's gonna bring it back ?"

"After 5 vodka and Red Bulls, you start wearing your Lindsay Lohan costume."

"Doctor Doctor I keep painting myself gold Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!"

"What do you call porn with thailandese chickens? Hentai. (Hen Thai)"