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Joke of the Day

"Who's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken"

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"Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem."
"Did you know Elvis used to have a boat called the ""Jailhouse""? That fucking thing rocked."
"what did the infant cannibal think of the premature section of the nursing ward it was a preemie-yum buffet"
"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are under and dollar and deer nuts are under a buck."
"[Jedi Training] TRAINER: Any questions? STUDENT: Can the Force be with me? TRAINER: I don't know...CAN it? STUDENT: Oh right...May the Force"
"Two old men sitting on a porch... There is a dog licking himself in the front yard. One old man says to the other, ""Man, I wish I could do that."" The other replies, ""That dog would bite you."""
"Why did Barbie never get pregnant? Because Ken came in a different box. Badum tiss."
"Why did Waldo go to therapy? To find himself."
"A young Lil' Wayne sits alone typing lyrics into Word 97 when a cartoon paperclip suddenly appears on-screen. [Did you mean ""digger""?]"