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Joke of the Day
"The main reason I lost my virginity was to ensure I wouldn't be sacrificed anytime soon."
Next Joke
"Not that anybody asked, but the Irresistible Force beats the Immovable Object every time."
"Ellen Pao has a good taste for revenge. Lawyers made her look bad, now she makes lawyers look bad. I'll be enjoying my shadow ban, thank you."
"What is a professors favourite snack? Academia Nuts."
"After working retail I've discovered that there are two types of people in the world Those who can read signs, and customers."
"I will die one day at a Del Taco, shot dead by a SWAT team after taking several hostages over what I feel is the meaning of extra cheese."
"Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first."
"my girlfriend must feel the same way about pizza as she feels about sex. if she has it one night, she won't want it again for a few weeks."
"What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"
"""The top of my toliet seat is uncomfortable to sit on. I want it to feel like my living room floor"" - inventor of carpet toliet seat covers"