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Joke of the Day

"i would lose weight but i hate losing"

"""I'm going to slide in and go back and forth until you're satisfied"" -Floss"

"My wife showed me her baby photos. She said, ""Here's one of me when I was 3."" I replied, ""Wow, and there's me thinking you were like a fine wine."""

"An entire cheerleader civilization was wiped out in the eruption at Pompompeii."

"Hey, old people! Less driving, more dying. Thanks!"

"How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ? Just ask them to read this word: unionized."

"[describing criminal to sketch artist] No, he could speak more languages than that. He had racist shoulders. His front teeth were impatient."

"Did you hear about Han's new band? It's not as good as his solo stuff."

"Why didn't the Eskimo want to go hunting? I don't know, guess he just wasn't Inuit."

"Pornhub has banned submissions of the Germany-Brazil game. They don't allow rape videos."