187849

Joke of the Day

"Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say ""Give me the dumbest thing you can think of."""

"You know that chick who said, ""Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?""... Yeah, well I ate her."

"how come paul simon gets all the first names and art garfunkel just gets random words"

"Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can ""skip ad"" last 30 seconds?"

"Don't ever believe anything an atom says. They make up everything."

"Do you think, when they were looking for that Carmen girl, that they ever checked San Diego? Just a thought."

"Did you hear that someone stole all the toilets at the police department? The police said so far they have nothing to go on."

"Oldie - -Communist China telegrams Soviet Russia Communist China: WE ARE OUT OF FOOD. SEND GRAIN Soviet reply: WE ARE ALSO OUT OF FOOD. TIGHTEN YOUR BELTS Communist China: SEND BELTS"

"How do you tell a transgender from a real woman? The quality of the sandwich."

"Nobody believes that my first grade teacher was named Furious Crapjacket."