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Joke of the Day

"The Job Interview: HR: So you are bilingual? Me: Si HR: In your native tongue please. Me: Ooga Booga"

"""Fluffy died today"" ""Oh my god I'm so sorry, was he a cat or dog? ""He was a boa constrictor"" ""Well that made me feel better"""

"What part of a heavy metal show involves bad jokes. Smosh pits."

"Knock Knock - Who's there? Joana. Joana who? I Joana close my eyes, I Joana fall asleep 'cause i miss you babe and i don't wanna miss a thing."

"I made a gun in the style of a social justice warrior It has too many triggers though."

"When I see a ""How am I driving?"" sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence"

"Why does the Mexican guy take xanax? For hispanic attacks Edit: Happy Cinco de Mayo"

"If money can't buy happiness, explain ice cream. You can't."

"How is there not an STD Clinic called, ""Clap on Clap off""?"

"A proton walks into a bar ... Tells the bartender, ""You don't serve my kind here"". ""Really ?!"", asks the bartender. ""I'm positive""."