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Joke of the Day

"How does Anthony Weiner like his meat? Pulled"

"What is the difference between a epileptic corn husker and a prostitute with diarrhea? The epileptic corn husker shucks between fits."

"My new year resolution is 1024x768."

"This grocery store is playing ""Freebird"" which I interpret as an invitation to shoplift a turkey."

"My computer is so slow . . . . . . I get a progress bar when I copy and paste . . . text."

"I refused to ask a guy with a Blackberry what time it was because he doesn't even know what year it is."

"How many figures does a stripper make? I don't know, but it's not a father figure."

"Daddy, did you ever eat cat food when you were little? ""Yeah, but it didn't taste very good."" She smiled and nodded, ""I know, it taste like dog food."" *A recent conversation I had with my daughter*"

"My daughter doesn't understand why I'm wearing sunglasses in the house this morning. Filled her sippy with rum so we're on the same page."

"My wife ran off with my next door neighbour.. I sure do miss him."