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Joke of the Day

"Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but that hard hat and pickaxe are pretty suspicious."

"I had lunch at Uri Geller's house the other day... It was terrible. I ended up with soup all down my front."

"What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Nacho Cheese."

"My friends say that I'm gay because I don't like football. What a bunch of idiots. I'm gay because I like cock."

"What do you call the occasionally toxic, organic substances that accumulate over the years in a hoarder's house? Horticulture."

"I had my identity stolen once. The next day I found it on my doorstep with a note saying, ""F@ck you, you can keep it."""

"Is there a shorter word for monosyllabic? Credit: Stephen Wright"

"A committee is twelve men doing the work of one."

"TURTLE: hey, you carry your house around too! HERMIT CRAB: i do. where'd you find yours? T: i was born with it HC: *scoff* ok princess"

"Why don't you take Pokemon to the bathroom with you? ... because they might Pikachu!"