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Joke of the Day

"If I ever got the chance to go on ""Jeopardy,"" I'd just buzz in on every question and answer ""what is love?"" until they made me leave."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? You'd think it was some really obscure number, but it's just one, ironically."

"Choosy moms choose Jif. Boozey moms choose Jeff, the abusive, alcoholic boyfriend."

"A seal walks into a bar... And the bartender says ""what will it be?"" The seal replies ""I'm fine with anything as long as it's not Canadian club."""

"VERY difficult to convince the apple store people that you've only ever dropped your phone 3 times if you dropped it twice in the store."

"What happened when the cheese factory exploded? Debrie everywhere."

"When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad."

"A light joke. So I had this crazy dream where I weighed less than a thousandth a gram. Yeah I was like 0mg!"

"Yesterday I farted in an apple store and everyone got mad at me Not my fault that they don't have windows."

"When on a school trip, somebody pissed in the shower. It really ruined the trip to Auschwitz."