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Joke of the Day

"An invisible man broke up with his invisible girlfriend... He didn't think they should see each other anymore."

"Make sure to tip your waitress. It's pretty funny when they fall over."

"Canadian Tinder users are 56% male, 44% female and 33% holding a fresh trout"

"McDonalds could burn to the ground and I bet the fries would still be cold"

"Girl, are you an HM move? 'Cause I can't seem to forget about you!"

"Why are gardeners better problem solvers than politicians Because gardeners really get to the root of the problem."

"Masturbation Sometimes I masturbate into my big pussy cat and jerk off into my computer"

"I gonna rank you so low you gonna hafta take a rocketship to hell they gonna hafta build a fence around you, keep the ants from pissin on you you gonna hafta look up to look down"

"WORK TIP: Respond to all your boss's emails with ""Heyyyy you!"""

"I took my girlfriend to a baseball game. I kissed her between every strike.... and she kissed me between the balls."