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Joke of the Day

"My dad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray. He is now classed as a seasoned veteran."

"What did the diva with Alzheimer's disease say? **DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM????** (credit to one of the writers from Bob's Burgers)."

"I ate an apple and jerked off with the core in my ass But not in that order"

"What do you call an African who plays 10 pin bowling online? Ebola."

"Ive never seen a pregnant Chinese lady."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... ...the bartender glances at him and says: ""Hey! We got a drink here named after you!"" And the grasshopper says ""What, Larry?"""

"When I was in college, I went to a party at the math fraternity house. I left when I found out they didn't have any booze; they didn't want people to drink and derive."

"Why can't pirates finish the alphabet? because they get lost at C!"

"It all. The title says it all."

"You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?"